My guy friend started dating a new girl, we shall name her Jewels (you’ll understand later). I was excited for him, but had yet to meet her. They went on a double date in Fort Worth Dallas
Are you wondering how I come into play here? Well, it seems Jewels left her jewelry (hence, the nick name) at said friend’s house. They had already driven back to Dallas Fort Worth and then driving to Dallas
So, I go to dinner with a friend and decide I can swing by this mailbox and grab the goods. It’s about 9pm making it dark outside, which frightens me. I drive over there using the address I was given, and the house sneaks up on me so I have to stop my car, somewhat abruptly, so I don’t pass the house. This leaves me sort of awkwardly parked in the middle of the street, unusually far away from the street-side mailbox. But oh well, I won’t be here for long.
I throw my car in park, hop out of the car, scurry (um, I’m not walking since I am afraid of nighttime) around the front of my car and then sprint 15 feet to the mailbox, open it, and grab the surprisingly big plastic baggie out of it, can’t remember closing the mailbox, sprint back the 15 feet, around the car, and hop back in. Whew. Made it without anything scary happening to me!
Put the car in drive and I’m on my way and feeling great about myself for doing such a nice thing for a person I’ve never met. Wait, are those lights in my review mirror? Are they flashing red and blue and is someone asking me to pullover on a loud speaker? Long story long, yes it is. I quickly review the previous five minutes in my head and realize it may have looked slightly suspect to have run as fast as I can back and forth to a mail box and stolen whatever was in it. This can’t be good.
Cop walks around to my drivers’ side window, as they do, I roll down the window and here is our conversation:
Cop: License and registration, please
Me: Yes sir! (I’ve already pulled it out before he could even get to my car. I like to prepared)
Cop: Ma’am, what were you doing in that mailbox?
Me: I was picking up something up for a friend.
Cop: What were you picking up?
Me: Jewelry
Cop: Jewelry?! What kind of jewelry, exactly?
Me (realizing this doesn’t sound good and that I also haven’t even looked inside the baggie and I could be a drug mule, for all I knew. So, cheerfully and with fake-confidence, trying to be as darling as possible): “Well, hmmmm, let’s just take a look-see, shall we officer!”
He doesn’t think I am darling. He takes the bag from me and sees that, thank GOD, it is, in fact, jewelry.
Cop: Whose jewelry is this?
Me: A friends’ girlfriend (so sketchy)
Cop: What is her name?
Me: um….I don’t know (the sketchy continues)
Cop: Whose house is this?
Me: I…uh…I don’t know. (and the sketchy is complete)
I continue: “Look, I know this sounds peculiar, but I am honestly just trying to do something nice right now and help out a friend who has a new girlfriend that –“
Cop Interrupts: “I’m just gonna go check out this story with the people who live here.”
I hop out of the car to go with him. As he goes to grab his gun, he forcefully says “Get back in your car, ma’am. We’ve had some problems with mail theft around here and I need to speak with these people without you there”
So he leaves me there, alone in the nighttime (and remember how I feel about the nighttime. I hate this guy). I hear him talking to her, but cannot make out what they are saying. He comes back over and:
Cop: “She has no idea what you are talking about.”
Me (this is where I lose it and start yelling): “I’m being framed, sir! I swear, I’m an honest person who – “
Cop interrupts again (chuckling): “Oh. I’m just kidding with you, ma’am! Your story checked out. She said it’s true. Lighten up, why don’t cha!”
Well look who found a himself a sense of humor. I’m not laughing, officer. I hate you.
No good deed goes unpunished.
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